Last week I met a guy in a pub. He was random of course, the pub was deliberate, well, habitual. Anyway, this guy could do amazing vocal impressions of the famous and slightly known. Problem was he could only do the impression once, ask him to repeat a mimicry and he’d find that he couldn’t. After a few brilliant impressions I turned my attention to sipping at my drink, and he to talking about his day. Christ could he talk! He talked about pineapples being 5p each at Apples and Things the grocers. I glanced at him and for a moment, just a moment, he looked exactly like a pineapple. I went back to my drink and he to talking. He started nattering on about the realistic dildos at his favourite sex shop, Felch and Sons. Bored I looked at him yammering there in the deliberate pub and thought to myself, you fucking dickhead!